Seeking for Love
by timeisrunningout
Summary: After being defeated by Naruto, Gaara thinks about a few things. And when he thinks he finally found love...


**Seeking for Love**

_[ What are more serious are emotional scars. ] _

He had beaten me. That was for sure. But it couldn't be helped, of course. But I really didn't care to be beaten. There were more important things than fighting to win. Fighting isn't the reason I kill. The fight is just part of the process of killing. 

My body was painful. My head ached and I could barely open my eyes, so I just kept them shut. Where was I? The place felt warm and windy. Could only be the Hidden Sand Village, of course. But... why was I there? Oh, yes. Temari and Kankuro brought me there. Heh. As if they cared that much for me. They just didn't want to be punished for leaving me behind to die. 

As if I was alive. 

I decided to open my eyes slowly. Just to go away from wherever I was. It didn't matter where. I just had to leave. Many things I heard where still messed up and I wanted to make them sound right._  
  
[ They are the hardest to heal. ] _

I opened my eyes. And, for my surprise, Temari was sitting beside my bed, reading. When I moved a little to the side she turned her eyes to me. 

"Gaara! You're awake!" she exclamed. 

Why was she so happy? 

"How do you fell?" she asked. 

"I've been better... if that's possible." I answered. By body was covered with wounds. I never felt that terrible before. It hurt more than ever.  
_  
[ Unlike physical ones, ] _

"The medical team took care of your wounds. They are almost fully recovered." Temari told me, getting to her feet. She stretched her arms. "I'll be right back. I'm just gonna tell Kankuro you're ok." 

"Temari?" I asked, before she left. "Are you sure the wounds are covered?" 

"Yes. You've been here, sleeping, for almost two weeks now. We had to 'feed' you with medicines all these days." she answered, and left._  
  
[ there's no ointment available for emotional ones. ] _

I couldn't understand why it hurt so much if I had been sleeping for so much time. Could that paying not come from the superficial wounds? 

My bed was close to a window close with a dark red curtain. I opened it and jump out of the window. It was the seventh floor, but the sand obviously made it fell like if I had not jumped at all. Sometimes those abilities could really come in handy. 

The night was warm and windy, as always. I walked down the street looking down at my feet. 

When I was fighting Uzumaki Naruto he kept saying things about friendship. If there's something I cannot understand is friendship. It's even worse than love. 

Because love you feel for your family. But if you have never had a family, how is it possible to have friends? The feelings people have for you are rather smaller than I mother or a father would have. But still... that boy was going to sacrifice himself for that people. 

Thinking about that just made the pain get worse. I rubbed my head slowly. I wanted that pain to go away and never come back again! 

"Just... LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shouted out loud, resting my whole body against the first wall I found. 

People stared at me... more than ever. There was something I really wanted to do that moment. The sand around me started to rise slowly. I pointed my hand against the first couple that stared at me but...  
_  
[ There's only one thing that could stop such heartache. ]  
  
_Someone held me hand. I looked up and there was Temari. She looked directly into my eyes. 

"Don't do that Gaara..." she muttered. 

"Let me go." I said. 

"No. I'm sorry, I can't let you hurt anymore people." she said. 

"Why?" 

"Because I want the best for you Gaara. That's why." Temari said, smiling. 

My eyes widened. She pulled me to her arms and hugged me tightly. My sister was really warm and I was so close to her I could almost hear her heart beating really fast. 

"Please, Gaara... don't." she said softly. 

For one second I lost control of my body. No, actually, I started to control my own body. I could let the demon without reaction. I hugged her back, tightly. And I did something I had not done in a long time: I cried. 

She let me go just a lot of time later. Still smiling at me she said: 

"Let's go back to the hospital, ok?" I nodded. 

_[ It's love. ]_

I was back to my room, staring at the ceiling. Maybe someone really cared for me... maybe. 

Suddenly the door opened. Kankuro and Temari walked into the room and I closed my eyes quickly. 

"Oh, damn... he's asleep." 

"But he's fine, Kankuro. Think like that." Temari said. 

"It's true. We need him for the last mission." Kankuro said, crossing his arms. 

"He almost killed a bunch of people on the street! I could control him, thankfully. Otherwise the mission would be ruined right there." Temari said in a cheerfully way. 

"After all we're getting control of the boy, heh? Maybe we don't have to kill him so soon." Kankuro sighed. 

"Yeah... but now we know how. If he does something wrong we just activate the plan." Temari said. 

I opened my eyes quickly and got to my feet quickly. 

"G-Gaara! You're awake!" Temari exclaimed. 

"It's so weird. Happiness lasts to little... but pain never goes away, right?" I said, grinning. "And moments of happiness are always worth some sacrifice. 

"What do you mean?" Kankuro asked. 

"What I mean is..." I raised my hand. 

After that, I think you know what happened.  
_  
[ But the pain may never really go away. ]_

**FIN  
_____________________________________________**  
  
**A/N:** I think Gaara is undoubtedly one of the most interesting characters in Naruto. It's hard to not write a fanfic about him, because after his fight with Naruto and Sasuke it wasn't very clear whether he had changed or not. It's fun to explore all the possibilities. And this is my first attempt exploring Gaara's future. ^^ I hope he wasn't too OOC. 

^^ Please leave me a review and tell me what you think, because I plan to write more and more about Gaara. :D It's hard to be out of ideas with such a character. 

**08/09/2003**


End file.
